Grief, one of the most debilitating negative emotions, can underpin so many things in our life and sometimes we don’t know it or don’t want to know it. We carry so many beliefs of having to suffer and being wrong to let go of grief too soon.
How long should we grieve? My answer to that is how long would the person or situation want us to grieve? If it’s a loved one then probably not at all ~ why would they want you to suffer ~ They LOVE YOU!!
Also when we grieve we rarely remember things in the positive and all the happy times we were fortunate to share.
And way back to the title ~
I’d like to tell of a client I saw a little while ago, which at the initial consultation the main issue was anxiety around driving (which is so so easy to change by the way).
This changed however, when we began the therapy session ~
Was anxiety around driving the cause of this clients issue? They (my client) thought it was when they came, why shouldn’t they? As this was one of the emotions they were feeling. We soon discovered this was simply an effect of the real issue. And this is the thing the core issue is so often masked by not one but usually a number of effects. This is where so many therapists can take a long time in helping their clients get resolution quickly, they try to deal with each and every effect and not the ‘root’ cause, the one thing that holds the issue and the one thing when that when resolved allows the problem to disappear completely.
So when it came to light was that my client was still suffering from grief together with an un-supporting belief to boot I knew we were meant to be together and finally let this go once and for all.
When this root cause came to light did I panic because I had only prepared for a driving session? Absolutely not because I hadn’t prepared in that way.
That’s why so many others (therapists) fail to help their clients quickly and comfortably which I think is a disservice to our clients. All of us here (Luke, Joseph, Chris and myself) are committed to brief therapy (the fewest amount of sessions) and complete and lasting change.
Anyway back to my client. Once we, well the client really discovered the real cause of their anxiety they understood and knew now that this (unresolved grief of 5 years) was the real problem that needed being dealt with.
We did deal with it quickly and with no tears. Well no tears until we had finished but they were tears of joy because they now had a set of wonderful memories and a loving connection with that person they had been grieving for, grieving for far too long and now they felt like a whole weight had been lifted from their shoulders. That really does make this job a brilliant one.
One session, that’s all it took to get that kind of freedom.
How long or how much time have you let grief hold you back? How long have you not remembered your loved ones with a wonderful fondness full of love not emptiness?
Maybe it’s time now to reclaim your life back.
Our other web sites
▪Hypnotherapy in Cambridge
▪Improve your Relationships
More information about grief and grieving
▪Dealing with being alone
▪Hypnotherapy for grief and grieving